I’ve been thinking…

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Houston, I think we have a problem.

Imagine a human standing in front of you asking you a question.  It is not the easiest question for you to answer.  In fact, you would rather turn, run in the opposite direction and dive into a hole filled with fat,slimy earthworms than answer the question.  But this person is in front of you. Face to face.  Eye to eye.  Nose to nose.  So you dig down deep inside of you and you find the courage to answer the question to the best of your ability.  Phew. That was hard, but you did it, and it may not have been the perfect answer, but you faced the question and you did not run away. I say good for you.

Texting.  It’s a bit crazy to me how this technology has severely wounded the sensitivity and even common sensical part of human nature: we speak. we listen. we respond.

Curiously, with a cellular device in our hand we transcend humanity and become the all-powerful, fearless immortal.  We kick aside three of the four Buddhist virtues: compassion, empathetic joy, and loving-kindness. Suddenly, a person writes things that they would never say in person or they avoid completely questions that they do not want to answer.As far as practicing non-reaction?  You just  hit that send button and shoot of something that has the power to ruin someone’s day.  You don’t have to look at that person and see the damage your writing may have done. Worst even, maybe you don’t even care.

I like human voices.  I like to see smiles and hear laughter. One of the things that I deepened my understanding in through yoga is the power of touch. Humans!  We need to work on this.  We need to teach others to do this.  I believe it will increase happiness in ourselves, our homes, our communities, and maybe even someday in the world.

Remember this.  Those great memories that you have were not from reading a screen, they were made from hearing words or doing things with others, or maybe with the help and support of others.  People give hope to one another with the power of eye to eye contact, and the intonation of our voices.

Lifting each other up, cheering each other on…are not products of technology. Let’s be mindful with our writing.

I was just thinking about that.

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daily prompt: back to the future

Just another day…

March 1, 2013

Dear Shane,

Yesterday the orthopedic doctor told you that you were not going to grow much taller.  To you that was really bad news as all guys want to be  6′ tall.  As one of my most favorite people once told me –  “it’s how the jelly beans mixed” –  it’s in the genes!  I am willing to bet that today, height just isn’t that important a part of your life.  You were blessed so much more than you realized with health, intelligence, and humor.  God gave you many gifts, and I know you have used them wisely and well thus far in your life.  My handsome young man, I love you more than words can say.  I hope your kids always fill your gas tank for you, so you don’t have 5 miles to empty when you start the car.

Dear Hope,

Hi there Hopie!  Yesterday was an interesting day for you, as you were diagnosed with a mucoseal.  Gross!!  Remember that painful lump on your lip that protruded into your mouth?  You know, the one that your father let you wimp out of getting drained…If I were with you, that thing would have been gone 15 minutes later!!  You know it.  I hope this message finds you a bit more courageous.  Oh yes, and I think Johnny Boychuk is still married to Sheena.  HAHA!  Love you girl.  Sooo much.

Dear Emma,

I was so happy that you enjoyed your first visit to your soon to be new school yesterday.  Ursuline Academy here  she comes!  I am so excited for you to begin a new adventure in your life and I know that you will be so happy there.  God answered our prayers with a great big Yes!!  My beautiful, sweet, dramatic Emma.  I love you so much. XOXO

Dear Chad,

My little man.  McBad.  Everyone’s friend.  Everyone’s buddy.  Yesterday, your Dad, who is so super good to you, took you to see your favorite Boston team (of the moment)  THE BRUINS!!  Although there was a slight mix up in the seats, all turned out well, and you saw a great game!  Of course you got a brand new cap too.  Only the best for my “Chad Man.”  I love you millions and millions and millions.  You already know that though.

Love,

Mom

it’s a trick question.

 photo

It’s a question without an answer.  A cocktail party question.  An inevitable conversation starter in the business I have worked in for 15 years (children’s retail.) It starts when glowing moms eagerly tell you the gender of their unborn child.  Customers’ heads turn as if called by name, and immediately conversation is sparked.  A customer may be shopping 10 feet away, but for some interesting reason (hopefully an innate humane nicety  – the one that wants to make people feel good,) opinions start flying.  People say how “sweet” boys are.  How “everyone should have at least one girl.”   It’s fun to listen.  Occasionally, I add my own two cents.

When does all this happiness go bad?  When people state which sex is “easier.” (Define “easier” by the way.)  Which is easier to grow?  Girls…or…Boys?  I cringe when people start voicing opinions on this matter, because it can get heated. I play mediator,  hoping that two people who have never met will not engage in a “knock down drag out” in the store as an expectant mother looks on in horror.  Being of sound mind most of the time, I may need to interject a voice of reason. “The answer lies in the individual child, with a bit of biology and psychology mixed in.”  – not bad, right?  We need honesty here. (and facts)  There are times when girls are easier, and times when boys are easier.

There is no answer to this question.  It’s a trick question.   That is what I am going to say from now on when the banter starts.  Then I will whisper to the expectant parent.  “Wait and see.” I will use a phrase I usually avoid, but “fits” in this instance “It’s all good.”

As far as boys go- this may be helpful.

As I picked up my 17-year-old son’s room this morning (after a bit of  “adolescent” verbal abuse I took like a lady because I remember how difficult exam week is,)  I dusted the top of a framed poem we received from a dear friend on my son’s Christening Day.  It has been perfectly placed on the wall so that leaving his room, one always catches a glimpse of it. If a parent is leaving his room and is lucky, he or she will read it, and find peace.

And so it goes:

Just a Boy…….

Got to understand the lad-

He’s not eager to be bad;

If the right he always knew,

He would be as old as you.

Were he now exceeding wise.

He’d be just your size;

When he does things that annoy

Don’t forget – he’s just a boy

Could he know and understand,

He would need no guiding hand;

But he’s young and hasn’t learned

How life’s corners must be turned.

Doesn’t know from day to day

There is more to life than play.

More to face than selfish joy.

Don’t forget – he’s just a boy

Being  just a boy he’ll do

Much you will not want him to;

He’ll be careless of his ways,

Have his disobedient days.

Willful, wild and headstrong, too

He’ll need guidance kind and true;

Things of value he’ll destroy

But reflect – he’s just a boy.

Just a boy who needs a friend,

Patient, kindly to the end

Needs a father who will show  (and a mother)

Him the things he wants to know

Take him with you when you walk,

Listen when he wants to talk,

His companionship enjoy,

Don’t forget – he’s just a boy.

~DURGIN PARK

Market Dining Rooms

-In the shadow of Faneuil Hall

ESTABLISHED BEFORE YOU WERE BORN

PS- He will pay for the adolescent verbal abuse with limited electronic device usage and lack of “wheels” for “whipping” friends around.  No worries.