“Strange things are happenin’ to me. Strange, strange things.”~Toy Story
Weirdest thing. Since “Operation Beach Body”- 10 day whole body cleanse commenced, there is no falling asleep for me. At 2 am last night I was applying Neosporin® to my big toe. As I lay awake in the dark all I could feel was my throbbing big toe. – the aftermath of placing second to last in the 10K I ran last week, combined with the nonstop training for…
OPERATION BEACH BODY!
(could you hear that in an announcer man’s voice? Cause that’s what I was going for.)
I got up and literally stumbled my way into my bathroom. I took out the dreaded blade used for shaving callouses. “Prep the skin with a warm soak?” you ask. Cold turkey, impulsive me? Of course not. The razor’s first pass made a nice, searing gouge in my big toe. Luckily, I was able to scream out profanities really loudly without waking my husband. I am sleeping alone these days. The New England heat wave knocked out my central air conditioning, and he sleeps in the cool basement with my son.
That gouge didn’t stop me though. I no longer have a speck of dead skin on these feet. Just 2 Band Aids® and a lot of foot cream.
I have been referring to this cleanse in terms of innings. Now into the 6th inning of the ballgame, I report that the 3rd, 4th, and 5th were pretty uneventful. Caffeine withdrawal headache gone, fridge still stocked with all those healthy choices (gag), workouts still going on.
How do I really feel? Well, I am eating way more food than usual because something about carrots, spinach, and berries (etc.) just doesn’t satiate. I’m hungry all the time!
At the gym last evening I finally just looked at the girl behind the counter and said it. “I don’t think this thing is working for me.”
“Yes, really. Look at my belly. It’s bigger than it’s ever been. I eat more food than I ever have.”
“Yes, really. All of the allowed foods, but still a lot of them.”
“It could just be ‘water weight.’ It’s still early in the cleanse.”
“Yeah, maybe. I am gonna try to get rid of some of that right now.” (I march into the cardio room)
(That was helpful.)
My tummy is way big, like early pregnancy big. My opinion of the reason for this? My body has to get rid of all of the food I’m consuming, and the cleansing part just hasn’t fully kicked in yet. (get it?) Hence, the pseudo-pregnancy. So this look is temporary. That being said, I will continue to avoid looking at my side view in the mirror for two reasons. 1. It’s not pretty. 2. I’ll get the baby itch, and 4 children is enough. That would make 17 years between my eldest and the baby in my head. Not good.
P.S. I had a mani/pedi and after last night I think someone is trying to tell me something. The polish colors I chose were Mermaid’s Tears by OPI and Mermaid’s Dream by Deborah Lippman. Irony!! (Sorry in advance for the shot of my pale, veiny, cut up, overworked foot.)
You guessed it. I’m the Mermaid!!!
Onward we cleanse.